I started imagining retirement a long time ago. A LONG time ago. The holy grail, the Promised Land. I have worked, at one job or another (sometimes more than one at a time) since I turned 14 and was able to get a work permit (yes, I’m that old) to bus tables at a local restaurant. I was thrilled to be making money – so much more than I was making babysitting – and being a real part of the real world!

Sadly, that thrill wore off fairly quickly, and now, 48 years and many jobs later, I’m happy to say, I have grabbed the grail! I’ve reached that mythical land called RETIREMENT. Hallelujah! I reached the point in the last year at which I still liked the money, but I despised the work. Not a good place to be, and in January of last year I announced my intention to retire at the end of the year. A year ago. December 29, 2023 was my last day.

Unfortunately for my coworkers at Acme Health Services, my employer for the last 23+ years, the people in charge waited until I only had 3 weeks left to think about replacing me. Whoops! Saved me having to train someone, but left them in a bit of a bind, I’m sure. It was not my intention to leave them in the lurch – see above where I gave them 12 months notice – but from my point of view, also not my problem. I’m sure they’ll figure it out. Not rocket science, after all.

Meanwhile, I’m enjoying my life! My days are free! For the most part, I have time to do the things I want to do when I want to do them! This is a dream come true! I am still living with and caring for my mother, of course, so mealtimes and nighttime are still spoken for…but the days! And the energy! I have both now to work on things that matter to me, and to spend time with friends, to exercise regularly…everything I couldn’t do before. It’s amazing, and I’m grateful for every minute!

I am able to spend part of every day at my little house, too, which has just been wonderful. I do yoga in the mornings, and read or write or play in my art journal in the afternoons. The weather has been mild, so some days I walk. On less than pleasant days I ride my bike on the trainer. I am learning to use the air fryer I bought. I’m looking to eat less processed food, so I’m intending to cook – actually cook meals, starting with crockpot recipes. At some point, I’ll start baking again, which I always enjoyed, but haven’t had the time for in a long time.

Someday I am sure I’ll start volunteering with one of the many charitable organizations in my little town. My desire to be of use has not left me, so I’ll find my way there at some point. For now, caregiving fulfills that desire, and I’m really relishing feeling free to spend most of my day as I wish. It’s not lost on me that this is the last chapter of my life, and I don’t know how many pages are in it. Ironic that I have all this free time, at a time in my life when my time on the planet is limited. That’s the reality for all of us, though, isn’t it?

And that’s the sweetest part. There is no choice but to embrace and appreciate every moment that is given. I’m ready to do all I can in this time – unfurl myself, as John O’Donohue says. Leave behind as much of myself as I’m able in whatever time is left.

While I’m grateful for my working life – all the people I met, and the important work we did – and for the opportunity those years have gifted me now, I’m thrilled all over again to be NOT working! I feel the thrill of that 14 year-old so long ago, just starting out and experiencing a new way of living, and joining a different world from the one I had lived in before.

Life seems fresh and exciting again, and I’m seeing it all with new eyes and a sense of possibility I haven’t felt in a VERY long time. Cheers to adventure and “the grace of beginning!”

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

John O’Donohue, For a New Beginning [extract]