Not going down


I have never liked the idea of “every man for himself.” I’m an Aquarian. I’m much more of a “we’re all in this together” kind of girl. I’m beginning to understand the concept of “every man (or woman)” though. You can’t let someone drag you under if saving them will kill you, too. There is no point in dying for a principle. Life is too precious.

If you can save the other person and yourself – awesome. That’s noble. If saving them endangers you, however, no dice, especially if they’re not willing to try to save themselves. Remember the Poseidon Adventure? It was so sad when Shelley Winters died. That haunted me for weeks. Now I realize that ultimately it was her choices in life that led to her demise – because of the way she had lived her health was too poor to survive swimming to safety. Her husband couldn’t save her, so he had to go on alone.

That’s really sad, but the reality of life is that there are consequences to our decisions and actions. There isn’t always going to be a happy ending. There is no script. There is only what is and how you deal with what is and if you choose not to deal with what is then nothing can be done for you.

That seems harsh, doesn’t it? But…THAT’S LIFE. Everyone has to face that fact sooner or later. I can’t change that reality for anyone and they can’t change it for me. Pretending that something isn’t happening, or wishing it was happening differently are behaviors we have to leave behind in childhood, or we make ineffective adults. We hurt ourselves and those around us. The only way to deal with life and its struggles is head on, eyes wide open; with compassion for ourselves, because, man, is it hard.

Straight ahead, nonetheless.

Do I feel compassion for someone who is struggling? Absolutely. My heart breaks with compassion and empathy. I will try to help if I can, but if I can’t, either because it’s not within my power or because the person won’t accept help, then I have to let go. Especially if I am to keep moving on. If I get stuck in that heartbreak then I’m doomed, too.

I intend to survive for as long as I can on my own terms, dealing with my own stuff. Period. This is the only life I get, and I mean to protect it. I’ll help you if I can, brothers and sisters, cuz that’s the Aquarian way. If it takes too much out of me, though, you’re on your own. I’ll be over here cheering you on, but I’m not going to risk my life to save yours. You make your choice and I make mine:

I want to live.

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