Friday's Child Redux

I raked on Memorial Day. I’m a Spring raker, and I don’t do all of the leaves, just the ones that accumulate in places I don’t want them to be: flowerbeds, driveway, walkways, porch. My mom’s house is much leafier than mine. We used to have a neighbor that accused my folks of having them shipped in. It takes me an hour or so to rake at my little house (flowerbeds mostly). It takes days to clear the mounds of wet leaves at mom’s.

So Monday I was doing the last bit at her house. It was a lovely day (finally, after two gloomy, rainy days) and I was out for about 2 hours. I did the patio and the walkway to the back yard (not a big deal) and then I started on the sidewalk by the alley. Ack. A big deal. It took the bulk of those two hours to get a 20-foot section of sidewalk along the fence clear, and the leaves out to the street for pick-up.

It’s done, though, and I was done in, but pleased to have it off the to-do list. So, yay me, and several of our neighbors were outside, too, so it felt sort of communal, which made my Aquarian heart smile. I wasn’t alone in my struggle! One neighbor rode by on her bike, and stopped to say “hello”, so I had a moment of envy, cursing my life choices, but good for her! It was, indeed, a great day for a ride.

The thing that was just a bit annoying was that my two immediate neighbors—one across the street (second-home weekenders) and the one next door (1/2 year residents)—were also outside working (great!) and they had loud music playing the whole time I was out there (not great!). Two different radio stations, unfortunately, one in each ear. Very loud.

I love music, and often have something playing inside, and outside occasionally – with earbuds. Because I have neighbors, and because I assume they don’t want to listen to my music, and because I TRY TO BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Not so with these guys. I’m guessing they are roughly my age. Both have white hair and can afford second homes, so not clueless teeny-boppers. I feel like they should know better. Two things about them are not the same as me, however: 1) they were both men, and 2) they are both wealthy.

I avoid pigeon-holing people, generally. We’re all different and no one on the outside can tell what’s going on inside. This I know for sure. I also believe that everyone does.the best they can. Somebody, (Maya Angelou?) said, “When you know better you do better,” and I believe if you don’t know better, then you can’t do better. You are truly doing the best you can. Right?

I don’t dislike men, and I don’t dislike wealthy people. I’ve dealt with both all my life and they are who they are just like everyone else. I’ve noticed, over the years, however, that some men, and some wealthy people think they matter more than other people, and that everyone around them should just deal with it. Sadly, that’s probably exactly what happens most of the time for them, perpetuating their world view.

This is not a character flaw. It’s upbringing and life experience. I’ve known women who feel entitled, too, though far fewer than the men I have known, and usually, though not always, because they are wealthy. I also have known plenty of really terrific men and some wonderful wealthy people. Nothing is ever one size fits all.

It’s all good. I think these two men are probably very nice and responsible people, and good parents, friends, etc. What they were not, in this particular instance, and perhaps in others, is considerate of people they don’t know. I choose to think that if I had gone over and introduced myself and told them their music was bothering me they would have been apologetic and turned it down or off.

I didn’t, though, because I TRY TO BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHER PEOPLE, and though the music was annoying, it wasn’t a big deal in the scheme of things, and neither am I. It was making them happy, I suppose, and at least it wasn’t music I don’t like. Also, I have learned over the years that I’m especially sensitive to noise, and that’s probably why I was so bothered, and also I have learned to accept that people will not always behave in ways I would like them to. The world does not bend to my will. Imagine that? In fact, that’s true for everyone at some time and on some level.

Mostly I just thought about how interesting it was that they were not at all concerned with me, or each other, even, and how different that is to the way I think.

We’re all different. That’s a good thing. What a boring life this would be without differences, and learning to live with differences. I believe that adversity is a good thing, too. It forces us to examine ourselves and our prejudices and beliefs about life and other people. That is how we get to be better humans, and more CONSIDERATE OF OTHER PEOPLE.

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