I like genealogy, and I’ve been researching family history for a long time now. I’m lucky enough to know who my birth parents are, so I’m able to research both my adoptive and birth families, and get the whole picture of who they were, and in doing so, who I am.
Plus, it’s fun!
Over the last weekend, Ancestry.com granted free access to Newspapers.com, so I spent some time searching for articles referencing my families. There was a time when I had a subscription to an online news clipping service like Newspapers.com, and I found a lot of relevant articles then, so I was excited to see what new stuff was online now. I found quite a bit this time, too, and made good use of the free period.
One of the things I particularly like about tracing family history is the perspective it gives me on my life, including how easy I’ve had it. Good reminder that for our ancestors, especially women, life was much more challenging in a lot of ways. It also gives me perspective on the flow of life in general, the way in which day-to-day events turn into a complete life, and how one life affects others.
One of the things I found over the weekend were court reports about the divorces of two of my mother’s relatives. Her grandfather, James, left her grandmother, early in her mother’s life, leaving her mother, my grandmother, and her sister, behind at a very young age. This was 1916, and there was no alimony or child support and my great-grandmother didn’t work. She started taking in sewing to pay the bills. I’m sure things seemed pretty dire.
In stepped my mother’s great-grandfather, Edward, James’ father. Ed’s wife had divorced him years earlier, so he was alone, and he moved in with his daughter-in-law and 2 granddaughters left behind by his irresponsible son (by Ed’s reckoning). The family thrived, thanks to Edward, and my grandmother grew up, got married and had my mother.
My mother’s father fell prey to a bad business deal, however, and their little family moved in with Edward and mom’s grandmother to ease financial pressure. My mother speaks about this time as one of the best of her life. She adored her grandmother, and was able to have a very close relationship with her, and her great-grandad, Ed, was her buddy for the time they were there. (He died shortly after they left). Mom was quite small, but she remembers that time very well, and it shaped who she was in a lot of ways.
So.
“Bad” things becoming good things. Things don’t always work out so neatly, but in my experience, they do pretty often. Enough not to lose hope when everything falls apart every now and again.
One decision can change everything, for better or worse.
That one moment reverberates throughout, not only the decider’s life, but also in everyone around that life, usually. Sometimes there are dire consequences, others much smaller impacts, but there are points in everyone’s life they can look back at and see the effects of key decisions, and the ripples in others’ lives that carried them in a new direction, too.
This week I also learned of a high school classmate’s death. He was not someone I knew well, but we had a small graduating class, 152 kids, so we all knew everybody on some level. Turns out he had a difficult life after high school, mostly because of addiction, which was a decision he made a long time ago. It shaped his whole life, costing him his marriage, his house, and apparently, his health. So sad. RIP Mike. Rest easy now.
My father’s decision not to quit smoking cost him his life, ultimately, but also 30 years of surgeries and treatments. My birthmother’s decision to relinquish me for adoption shaped me and my life profoundly. My birth-grandfather’s decision to move to northern Michigan for his career, brought my birthmother to this area, where she met my birthfather in school…
Certainly things happen that are outside our control, and many things that change us were not as a result of a decision we made. There are those life-changing moments, though, that we can look back to and see a direct line from there to here.
I think history is fascinating. I think family history is enlightening and is a concrete connection to human and world history. That’s why I love genealogy and why I do it. We stand on the shoulders of those here before us, and look ahead for those to come after. What decisions made now will affect us and the children to come?
This includes decisions in the voting booth, incidentally. Governments can have a profound effect on citizens’ lives, certainly.
It’s never just about me. I’m very aware of that. My life affects others as I have been affected by my parents, teachers, friends, extended family. Everyone is connected. Our decisions as humans affect the planet and the other walks of life here. It’s a web. Everything and everyone is connected. Touch one part of the web and it reverberates throughout the whole. One decision, one change, can affect many lives, and generations to come.
Families matter.
Family history matters.
Human history matters.
I am a part of it all. So are you.
What decision made today will carry us from here to there? Choose wisely, friends. Your very life, or someone else’s, may depend on it.